On the outside i may seem fine and look like im happy, but on the inside im not, on the inside i feel like im dying slowly and painfully and no one notices it mental illness is not a joke. You can control it but it seems to be one of the hardest things iv had to face in my life. Out of nowhere you just lose it, you lose your thought of mind and just go into deep thoughts and most of the time its not about one thing its about everything thing thats happening in your life and when your into those thoughts most of the time you cant get out of it until you hit the breaking point of releasing everything and that can happen in all different ways and thats what scares me the most in my life cause day by day i never know what could happen.
these thoughts are killing me, i wish i could meet you just once. just to know what you look like, sound like, i just want to know that you cared and it wasn’t my fault that you died, every day i break down thinking of this, and i can never know the truth if it was or not. people tell me im not the reason you took your life but i dont believe them. I feel i am the reason why. i miss you dad <3 ill meet you some day i just dont know when or how soon im sorry for what happened you didnt deserve to die at 16 i love you no matter what even if i will never meet you or actually physically see you i hope god just gives me my one wish when i pass to talk to you thats all i ever ask so i can truly rest in peace with knowing the truth.